A Teacher's POV - Back to School Blues
by Time Lady
Summary: Everyone is back to school and there's romance in the air. Is that a good thing or bad thing for the teacher? Particularly when her own love life is in doubt. A new student comes to her class as well....


A Teacher's POV - Back to School Blues  
  
By Time Lady  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
When you're young, you have so little to worry about in your love life. Take Hikari and Takeru for example. They're in love, plain and simple. Their only worry is keeping Daisuke out of their hair. Same for Amano and Yukari, except for dealing with Daisuke.  
  
Then there's Satoshi and Kasumi. On first glance you'd think they hate each other. But if you watch them long enough, you can tell they really care.  
  
It's a little more complicated for Akemi, but not much. She wants to get Daisuke to like her. Moose likes her, but she doesn't like Moose. I don't know if she's going to manage to set out on her great attempt to get Daisuke to like her, or to just continue to hang all over him. Which really isn't a good idea, since she's captain of the girls wrestling team and she often forgets her strength.  
  
I wish my love life were as easy. Otherwise I wouldn't have spent most of my winter break depressed and crying about not knowing where my 3 year old online long distance romance was going.   
  
Which is why I'm wandering the halls before school Monday morning after winter break, chasing kids out of the hallway and trying like hell not to cry. I can't let the kids see me cry. Crying is weak. Kids sense weakness in a teacher and they go berserk.  
  
The bell rang. I picked up my homeroom class from the gym and led them back to my room. "You have exactly five minutes to get yourselves in order," I said sternly, setting up my timer and trying not to cry. While the kids were occupied, I turned on my computer. Maybe there would be an email from him, telling me everything was all right. That he wanted to come here to be with me. That he wanted me to wait for him.  
  
My timer buzzed. While the computer booted up, I called roll. Everyone was present and accounted for. I set the kids down to silent reading and checked my email. Nothing. Sigh. I wanted to cry. Instead I walked up and down the rows, taking up comic books, intercepting notes, etc.  
  
About 10 minutes into class, the principal walked in. He was the last person I wanted to see right then. He called me over. "We have a new student," he told me. "This is Ken Ichijouji, a transfer student." I studied the new kid. He looked vaguely familiar. Dark hair, wearing a gray school uniform from one of the private schools.  
  
"Welcome to my class," I said.  
  
"Thank you Sensei," he replied with a bow.  
  
"Well, let's get you situated," I continued, glad for something to distract me temporarily.  
  
I escorted my new student into the room. "Class, we have a new student." I saw Hikari, Takeru, and Daisuke were surprised to see Ken. They must know him. "Please introduce yourself."  
  
As Ken went through his introductions, I could see the unattached girls swooning. Great, more romantic complications in this microcosm of a classroom. Once he finished, I seated him in an empty seat behind Hikari.   
  
"Before you even think of whispering or passing notes, you can talk to Ken all you want when you go to change classes," I said, trying to end any problems before they started. A few of the girls groaned, but peace reigned.  
  
I decided to take advantage of the momentary lull. Still no email. Inside, I was hurting. Outside I was trying to make sure it didn't show, even though I felt the tears ready. I went to a few email greeting card sites. There weren't any that said how angry and frustrated I was. I settled for one that had an animated dog crying and saying "I'm sorry." I wasn't sorry, but it at least gave my sentiment and enough writing space for a decent message. I told him I had to know where our relationship was going. And I told him I'd been crying on and off the last two weeks and felt incredibly depressed. With much trepidation, I hit send and hoped for the best.  
  
The bell rang. I sent my homeroom kids off towards whatever their classes were. I waited for my next set of kids.  
  
When you're depressed, especially when you're trying not to show it, the day drags on. Most of the students didn't notice anything was wrong. A few of the more perceptive students, like Miyu and Iori, stopped me in the hall and asked me if I was ok. I passed it off as allergies.  
  
Lunch time rolled around. I went to the cafeteria to see if anything could pass as food. "Aw man," complained Daisuke behind the counter. "I hate cafeteria duty."  
  
"It can be fun!" exclaimed Akemi next to him. Poor Daisuke looked like he wanted to die.  
  
It looked like lunch would be a combination my snack drawer and the teacher snack machine. Considering my mood, drowning it in chocolate might not be a bad idea. I passed by one of the tables. Ken seemed to be settling in. He was already seated at one of the tables with Miyako, Iori, Takeru, and Hikari. Takeru and Hikari were taking turns feeding each other fish sticks. How sickeningly cute. Considering the others were rolling their eyes, they apparently agreed with me. I did notice Miyako and Ken were sitting rather close to each other. Iori looked a little like he felt like an outsider.  
  
"Sensei," he asked, "are you sure you're all right?"  
  
"Yeah. It's a seasonal thing. Runny nose, watery eyes, the works." Of all the kids, somehow he seemed to be see past my facade. But he tried to accept what I was saying.  
  
"My grandfather says prune juice is good for that sort of thing."  
  
I didn't have the heart to tell him this was something even prune juice wouldn't help. "Thanks Iori," I said. "I'll try it when I get home."  
  
Glancing at the clock, I slipped out of the cafeteria and down to the teachers' lounge. I studied the machine responsible for frequently wrecking my diets, put the coins in, and made several choices, all of which I stuffed into my pocket. Luckily I was one of the teachers who had planning period right after lunch. I needed that extra 45 minutes.  
  
As I opened the door I heard a crunching. "Oh no, not again. . . ." I thought as I crept forward. My drawer was ajar. A pair of blue ears peeked out. "Chibimon, what do you think you're doing inside my drawer?"  
  
"Eeep!" I heard, followed by a thunk as he tried to rush out of my drawer. Finding himself cornered, he decided to play cute.  
  
"Don't play cute with me," I said. "You're not supposed to be here in school." He looked at the ground with an innocent air. I relented. I'd spent most of the day being mean to kids trying to hide my depression. I was out of energy. After pulling out a bag of snacks for Chibimon, I opened up a candy bar and sat down at my computer. Please let there be a reply. . . .  
  
I don't know why I started crying. But once the tears started, they just wouldn't stop. Suddenly I felt something on my arm. Looking up, I saw Chibimon sitting there. He climbed into my lap. I grabbed onto the little whatever he was and hugged him. For some reason, it was rather comforting holding something when I was crying. I cried for a good ten minutes straight.  
  
Finally the tears let up. The pain was still there, but I just couldn't cry anymore. There was still nothing on the email. With a sigh I ripped open a candy bar and scarfed it down. Chibimon sat on my lap eating another candy bar. "You know," I said. "Some people say that there is a chemical in chocolate that mimics the chemicals in your brain when you're in love." Chibimon stared at me like I was a bit crazy, then went on with eating his candy bar. I opened up another one. "I guess that's why so many people turn to chocolate when they're depressed and heartbroken."  
  
We continued sitting and eating chocolate until about 15 minutes before my planning period was over. "You better make yourself scarce," I said as I reached for my purse. Nodding, Chibimon hopped off my lap. I went down to the teacher's restroom, washed my face, then reapplied my makeup. The kids didn't need to know I'd spent the last few minutes crying. Never show weakness. The kids will run you over if you do.  
  
By the time I returned, Chibimon disappeared. Probably to wherever he hid himself during the day. Next time I caught him in my room, I needed to find out if there were any more of him. The bell rang. My next class filed in.  
  
About every 15 minutes I checked my email. No response. I fought back my tears and became the tyrant my students knew and feared.  
  
Finally it was time for my last class. Admittedly it was my favorite subject. "Mythology as part of history, literature, and culture." It was an elective class, open to 4th grade and up. Though for the life of me, I still don't know why Moose, Satoshi, and Daisuke are in there. I have to admit, Moose did know a few tales from Canada that I was unfamiliar with. Moose walked in, proudly carrying. . . . something that I didn't have a clue to what it was.  
  
"My parents sent it to me," he said. "It's from one of the loggers. He said it belonged to a chief his granddaddy met."  
  
"Well, you'll have to tell everyone about it," I said, forcing a smile. Admittedly, it was rare Moose was so enthusiastic about anything.  
  
Behind him, in walked Takeru and Hikari, hand in hand. I wondered if a relationship this strong now would last until adulthood. Forcing back a sigh and forcing on another smile, I greeted Iori.   
  
"Are you feeling any better Sensei?" he asked.  
  
"Somewhat. Go ahead and get seated. We start in a few minutes."  
  
I blinked in surprise. Behind Miyu came Miyako and Ken. Miyako had her hand on Ken's arm. I almost slapped my head as I remembered where I had seen him. That was the friend they ran into on the field trip. "Ken, find one of the empty seats," I said.  
  
Daisuke slipped into the room, looking around nervously. "Trying to avoid me, huh?" I asked.  
  
"Shhh. . . Akemi's out there somewhere. . . ."  
  
"Just sit down. Her seat is far from yours."  
  
"HI SENSEI!" said Akemi in her cheerful way just as Daisuke made it to his chair safely. "DAISUKE!" she said enthusiastically.  
  
"Sit _down_ Akemi," I said firmly. The bell rang, one or two students dashing in at the last second. I closed the door, then heard an "OOF!" I rolled my eyes, then opened the door. Satoshi fell into the room. "You have until the count of three to get into your seat before I give you detention for being tardy. One. . . two. . ." Satoshi was up in a flash and at his seat by the time I finished saying two. A few of the kids snickered, while Kasumi looked furious at him.  
  
"All right class. Moose has something to share with everyone," I announced. "Go ahead."  
  
Moose carried his whatever it was up to the front of the room and began talking about it. Half listening, I checked my email. Nothing. Sigh. . . . When Moose finished I stood. "Thank you Moose. Anyone else have anything to share? All right then. Line monitors pass out the mythology books."  
  
I picked up my copy to see where were in the book. Wincing, I realized the next story was about "Narcissus." A tale of unrequited love. I flipped through until I found a non-romantic story. "Let's turn to page 128 and look at the story of the origins of Athens."  
  
"Sensei," said Iori as he raised his hand, "this isn't picking up where we left off."  
  
"Yes, but our theme has been looking at how different cultures used myths to explain the existence of different things."  
  
"Isn't "Narcissus" an explanation of how the flower came to be?" asked Hikari.  
  
"It is. However, in Greek culture, both the city of Athens and the olive have a far greater impact on society than the narcissus flower," I explained. "We may discuss that myth at a later date. Now, would someone like to begin reading aloud?"  
  
As my students read the story out loud, I hastily scribbled out some questions for them to answer onto an overhead projector transparency, along with a few vocabulary words. This wasn't the story I had planned, so the worksheets I had wouldn't go along with the work. Once I finished, I made the rounds of the room. I intercepted a note from Daisuke to Hikari that had apparently made several trips back and forth between the two while I was busy.  
  
I read over the note while Daisuke shrunk down in his seat.  
  
"Wanna go to a movie Friday?" - D  
  
"No." - H  
  
"Why not?" - D  
  
"Already got plans." - H  
  
"Aw come on." - D  
  
"I said no. NO! NO! NO!" - H  
  
"Give it a rest already and leave her alone." - T  
  
Hmmm . . . . apparently Takeru had gotten his hands onto the note. As I was finishing up with this note, I caught another note from Daisuke and Miyako.  
  
"Hikari won't go out with me." - D  
  
"So?" - M  
  
"What can I do to get her to go with me?" - D  
  
"Have you tried making her jealous?" - M  
  
"How do I do that?" - D  
  
"Go out with someone else." - M  
  
"Who?" - D  
  
"How about Akemi?" - M  
  
"GAAAAHHHH!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY?" - D  
  
As I shredded this one, I caught another note from Amano to Yukari asking her out (successfully) and a note from Moose to Akemi asking her out (unsuccessfully), and a note from Satoshi to Kasumi asking what page we were on.  
  
"Well," I said with my hands on my hips. "Since everyone is in such a writing mood, you can write these on a piece of paper _and_ answer them for homework!" The entire class groaned as I turned on the overhead. Things became silent, other than for the rustling of paper and scribbling of pencils.   
  
While they were busy, I checked my email. Finally there was a response. I bit my lower lip as I read him saying how sorry he was, but he wouldn't be able to leave his country for several more years. That responsibility was keeping him tied to his home. That he still cared deeply for me as a close friend and a confidant, but he felt that it would never be more anymore. I held myself perfectly still. In 4 little paragraphs of an email, my romantic life was over. Not that it had really started.  
  
As my mind was digesting everything, the bell rang. The final bell of the day. "Sensei?" one of the kids asked.   
  
"Your homework is due tomorrow," I said controlling my voice. "Dismissed." The kids scrambled to get out of the room. Once the last one was out, I locked the door. Tears ran down my face. I couldn't stop anymore. I sat down at my desk and cried. After a good ten minute cry, I walked around picking up papers, making sure nothing was abandoned homework. I found notes under some of the desks.  
  
Note one read:  
  
"Is she always like this?" - K  
  
"No. Something must be wrong." - I  
  
"I see." - K  
  
  
Note two:  
  
"What's wrong with Sensei? She looks like she's about to cry, and she's been like that all day," - Miyu.  
  
"I don't know. I asked her and she said she had allergies, but something is bothering her." - Iori  
  
  
Note three:  
  
"Man, Sensei's being a total witch today." - S  
  
"You said it." - R  
  
"If she's gonna be like this all week, I'm gonna skip." - J  
  
With a sigh, I tossed all the notes in the trash. I grabbed my things. I had to get out of here. In the hallway I saw couples holding hands. I passed Hikari kissing Takeru on the cheek. I saw Daisuke choking back his reluctance and, in front of Hikari and Takeru, asking Akemi on a date. I saw Akemi nearly strangle Daisuke in her enthusiasm as she accepted. Akemi shot a wink to Hikari, who smiled. Avoiding any more of my students, I slipped out of the building. Away from school and the happy romances of my students into my depressing loveless world.  
  
Author's note: I know this is a lot more depressing than my other TPOVs. It's a reflection of my current mood, as my online boyfriend and I broke up after 3 years. I was pretty much like my story teacher that day. I've spent the last 3 days trying not to cry in front of a class full of students. The kids go through the day and don't know how upset I really am, or what I'm feeling. I'm sure you who are still in school might have seen your own teachers in similar situations but not know what the problem was, or even acknowledged any more than you teacher was in an incredibly bad mood. Try looking a little closer. There might be more than meets the eye.  



End file.
